browsin' through my contact list on the phone and i saw's brian's name. though he was not a close friend of mine but from time to time, images of him flashes past me. the minutes of wonderin' how he is doin' or what'll he be doin' if he is still alive? and indeed, i felt sad.

we attended the same school since 7. he was a quiet and sweet boy. the image that nailed my head was he had both of his hands in his front pockets wandering around the tuck shop. we sat next to each other when we were 11 for chinese class. he sucked balls in mandarin. he does not even have a chinese name.

we hang out when were 13. took long rides from the west to the east. he's someone i can never reach out to. always deep in thoughts. i cant seem to read him.

we turned 20. he hadnt change a bit. still as mellow. several nights a week we chatted till dawn about nothing at all. maybe i was lonely at bedok ria. the nights seem long. he texted me when he was in the army. he didnt like it. but again, who does? i met up with him briefly before the accident. now i wished i have stayed longer.

we were suppose to meet up again.

now, he will never turn up.